New Post, and Die Fat Girl is Up...!!!

Now it's official - Die Fat Girl has officially moved to www.diefatgirl.com! And I just put a new post up! I get a lot of women who say they want to look like me - Thanks! That means a lot! But at the same time, I want everyone to know a picture doesn't tell all... So, I posted some close up pics of my tummy and my STRETCH MARKS! Just wanted you to know that we all have our battle wounds, including me :) but I'm ok with them, and I hope you can be too! Please check it out and share!

Fat Girl is Still Alive... But Being Good ;)

Hi all! Just wanted to let you know that Die Fat Girl is still on my mind... I'm not neglecting her (as in the site), just have a very big concept I want to blog about, and have been doing some major brain storming. I want to make sure I get this right, because I know it can help a lot of people.

Anybody can do a fad diet and lose weight, but how many can truly keep it off? Hence the yo yo... My objective is to be able to help people, no matter what diet they chose to do to lose their weight, to keep it off. But in order to keep it off, you have to be willing and know how to change. At this point, I'm looking for anything people may need help with as far as goal setting and finding the right mentality to really truly change? Where are you all struggling? What are your triggers/weaknesses? Is it just a lack of knowledge? Will power? Motivation? Desire? Support? I know this can be personal, so feel free to email me a response at Beachbodycandice@hotmail.com, or if you are comfortable enough, leave a comment below. Any feed back is needed/appreciated.

Just to give you a glimpse of what it is: "Weight Loss Commitment Triangle." Depending on what your goals are, and how fast you want to achieve them, it will map out the path and effort you need to put into it. Or depending on what effort you are willing to put into yourself/goals, the results you should expect... Hope that makes sense? I know it does in my head LOL, just brain storming on how to put it onto paper :)

As far as my own personal fat girl, if you have been following on AskCandice (http://askcandice.blogspot.com/2011/04/commit-me.html ), I started INSANITY: THE ASYLUM on Monday, and also got a new BodyBugg. I let my fat girl go a little free over the Easter weekend, and she enjoyed, but I have actually been doing really good since! We made a compromise.... I let her have one day, I get 28-30. So, I am now doing a 28 day sugar detox from Dr. Oz. http://www.doctoroz.com/challenge/sugar-detox.
I have done this before, and it is completely doable. I will have an update on there in the next day or two. But fat girl is sleeping right now, and I am feeling great!!!!! I hope this finds you all well, and happy losing!

Pull Hair Out, STRESS!!!

I'm so mad at myself right now! I started this blog to help keep me accountable for my nutrition, but I am not doing 100% :( The fat girl is just screaming to get out! I know its due to stress :( Our water system under our kitchen sink had a hose crack, and it has been leaking for several weeks into our basement bedroom that we never go into... The whole ceiling and wall was bubbled, and the carpet soaking. They estimated it has been that way for several weeks due to the discoloring of the wood tack strips, and the mold. Yea, mold. Great. They came Monday and gutted the wall and have had a fan on it for 24/7. They are coming tomorrow to see how much has dried, and give us an estimate to repair it all. Thankfully we have homeowners, but its still a $1000 deductible. That stresses the hubby out, which he tends to take out on me, but thankfully he hasn't been too bad with this one.


My FIL is also coming tomorrow to install shelving in our garage, which will be awesome, but just more stress. Plus, it's track season, and I want to be out there helping my track kids everyday, but the time to pay ratio SUCKS, and I already have so much on my plate. And to top it off, I had an eye appointment and had to have my eyes dilated, and I have been tripping out all day! It sucked! I know I am dehydrated too - since the water system is shut off, its just tap, and our water up here isn't the best - just an excuse, I know :( I also know I haven't been able to workout like I want/need to, and that is starting to get to me... my abs are going away, and I am starting to get a spare tire (just a road bike tire, but it is there). Ugh, there is so much more going on that I just can't put in writing... UGH, I feel overwhelmed and want pull my hair out, and let the fat girl out... :(

We had a church function/BBQ tonight, and thankfully we were behind and the food ran out lol. I had a hamburger Pattie, but felt if there was anything else, I would have partaken. When I got home, I wanted to go crazy and just say screw it. I started riffling through the pantry/cupboards(thankfully no oreos currently in the house ;) and finally decided to just do a PB Shakeology... it seemed to do the trick. It filled me up, and satisfied my sweet tooth... I did 2 TBSP of PB, which is high calorie/fat, but I know that was better then going on a binge. Thank goodness for Shakeology - and that isn't a plug... that is an honest to goodness statement from my heart! This has happened 2 other times... It seems like I can quiet my fat girl if I make it into one of the more "dessert" like shakes. That is a compromise I am willing to live with.

So, I need to break it down... what have I learned from the last few days... 1. I need to stay hydrated. 2. I can't control everything. 3. I need to clean/balance my plate and get more organized(working on a website to help with that and can't wait!) 4. Need to make more time for family and self. 5. Need to recommit to working out - My hubby said he would do the new Insanity: the ASYLUM with me! I sure hope so!!! I also am thinking I am going to get a Body Bugg for my B-day :) 6. Tomorrow is a new day. A chance to start over, anew. No reason to throw everything away.

Ok, I feel better. Sorry for the vent, but know that I am human too. I'm going to commit to keeping track of my cals, and 30 minutes a day for myself to workout until I get the ASYLUM, and then all Hell's breaking lose! This is something I think would be good for me and my hubby to do together, so I really hope it works out :) Hope this finds you all well :)

The Binge Eater - Types of Binges

I wanted to focus this post on binge eating, and identifying what kind of binge eater you are, and how to possibly address the issue. I believe just recognizing and identifying there is an issue is half the battle. I am not a psychologist or Doctor by any means... these are just observations I have made in myself, others that I have helped over the last several months, and the many emails I have read.

In researching binge eating, I came across this simple posting in Wikepedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binge_eating_disorder.

Kind of eye opening - especially the signs:
-Periodically does not exercise control over consumption of food.
-Eats an unusually large amount of food at one time, far more than an average person would eat in the same amount of time.
-Eats much more quickly during binge episodes than during normal eating episodes.
-Eats until physically uncomfortable and nauseated due to the amount of food just consumed.
-Eats when depressed or bored. -Eats large amounts of food even when not really hungry.
-Usually eats alone during binge eating episodes, in order to avoid discovery of the disorder.
-Often eats alone during periods of normal eating, owing to feelings of embarrassment about food.
-Feels disgusted, depressed, or guilty after binge eating.
-Rapid weight gain, and/or sudden onset of obesity

I can definitely identify with a few! I'd like to think you can classify binge eating into several types of binges, as I mentioned in my first post. I have observed/experienced several types - Bored, Emotional/Stressed, Social, and Deprived. I'm sure there are many more, or different ways, but these seem to be the ones that pop up the most. There may also be different levels, or extremes. You can even have 2 or more types of binges going on at the same time, but lets try to understand them first...

Bored: You're home alone, kids are at school, spouse is at work, nothing better to do... wait - there's a package of Oreo's in the pantry! Before you know it, half the package is gone! What? How did that happen??? At this point, you feel guilty, discouraged, say screw it, and finish the rest of the package, right? (can't say that I have finished a whole package in one sitting, but definitely more than I needed). To top it off, you give up the rest of the day and eat whatever the crap you want. Don't give into the bored binge - stay out of the kitchen, go for a walk, find a hobby - do something for you - easier said then done though? If you can at least identify when and why you are bored, you can give yourself a window of opportunity to do something about it.

Emotional/Stressed: I think we can all relate to this one... You got into a fight with your spouse, a family member is ill, you maybe struggling with depression, you lost a loved one, had a bad day at work, ect. There can be sooo many emotional triggers. I know I have gotten into a fight with my husband, and as soon as he stormed off, I would again turn right to the pantry (oh! Oreos!), and think, "screw him, I'm pissed, so I'm just going to eat what I want - I'll show him!," or "This sucks, I don't care any more, so I'm just going to eat what I want." BAD attitude! Why should I let him, or any other external factor affect my relationship with food??? I can't control other people, they can't control me, I can only control myself, so why should food be allowed to control me?

Social: We've all gone out to dinner, to a party, or to a family members, and eaten too much, right? That in itself is occasionally OK, but when you keep going back and back for more, or finish off the whole plate that could have fed a family of 4 because you didn't want to waste food, or because you didn't care, then you can have a problem. There comes a point when enough is enough. I tell my clients to use a 1-10 scale when eating out, and to eat for a memory when eating treats. If that food item doesn't rate at least an 8 on the scale, then don't eat more then you need - why waste the calories? If you it isn't good enough to remember, then why keep eating more? For example: On my trip to NY, we went out for pizza. It was good and I enjoyed it. It is something I never will forget, but I only had a couple of slices and let the rest go because it wasn't quite an 8. The NY cheesecake on the other hand... that was a 10! I will always remember it, but at the same time, I didn't eat the whole thing - there was no way - it was as big as my head! But I did enjoy it, no guilty feelings :)

Deprived: I think every chronic or yo-yo dieter has experienced this one... You set your goals high, you go grocery shopping for all the right foods, and throw out everything bad. You start keeping a food log. You go days, maybe even weeks with out a slip, then all of a sudden you remember that package of Oreos you had tucked away in the storage room for a rainy day... but you've been good, and you don't need them. You keep yourself busy cleaning house, running errands, working on a project, but then there is this nagging sensation in the back of your head... they are calling your name... you can picture them there sitting in the dark... you start recalling how one would taste... just one, right? Only one, one wouldn't hurt... Next thing you know, a whole row is gone... well, hell, may as well hurry and finish the package before the spouse gets home so you can hide the evidence! You've been good for so long, so you earned it right? Not so much. The deprived binge can be avoided if you just don't deprive yourself! Food was meant to be enjoyed, but in moderation. If you can keep your "fat girl" at bay, it is better to allow your self that one Oreo or treat a night (if you are with in your calories, and got some kind of a workout in), then to deprive yourself and go into a binge. But you know yourself and your inner fat kid, so if you can't stop at the one Oreo, then find a way to compromise with him/her.


Do any of these binges sound familiar? If so, don't deny them... try to understand them. If we deny that there maybe an issue, then we are only enabling that inner fat kid. But if you can understand what is going on, and why you are wanting to binge, then maybe you can stop it, or at least control it before it gets out of hand? Depending on what your goals are, an occasional free meal or treat is OK! Food was meant to be enjoyed. But we have to learn when to stop and that going on a binge won't solve any of our problems. You may feel better temporary, but as soon as the Oreo sugar buzz crashes, you are left feeling guilty, miserable, and empty. Not worth it. Focus on improving how you feel on the inside, and the outside will start to catch on. :)

My next post is going to be on understanding your rate of loss based on your goals and time frame and when it is ok to have a free meal or treat. I hope this finds everyone well. :)

Confessions of a Skinny Fat Girl

For those that have been following http://www.askcandice.blogspot.com/ , you have seen my outside transformation, and know what I have been doing over the last year. You would also know that I have lost 60lbs over the last year with a combination of different diet and exercise programs. I started blogging to keep me accountable to get my butt in gear and start working out again. It worked and has lead me to some amazing adventures, allowed me to meet some awesome people, and let me help those that I never would have otherwise. My biggest emphasis was committing to exercise, but now I need help committing to the nutrition.

For the most part, I eat well. I shoot for a balance in my meals between protein/carbs/fat/fiber, 4-5 meals a day. But remember, I haven't always been skinny... in fact, I have NEVER been skinny. This is all new for me! Growing up, the smallest I remember being was 170lbs when I was 12 years old, and wearing a size 12 pant. I remember always sneaking food... especially when we would go to my grandparents... it was like a week free for all. I'd find all of their hidden treats and devour! I remember buying ice cream and candy from the ice cream man with money my parents would give me, but as soon as he left, I would hurry and hop on my bike and ride to his next stop and buy more candy with money I had taken from my dads coin jar(sorry dad! lol)... This blog kinda sums it up on how I felt about food when I was little, and was part of the inspiration to create "Die Fat Girl." I recommend you read it, it's a hoot: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/10/god-of-cake.html

What is sad is even though I am an adult now, and have lost all this weight... I still feel like that little kid in the blog! I feel like I have a "fat girl" inside of me just dying to get out and destroy everything I have done! Does anyone else feel that way? I feel like I have been dieting my whole life that I just want to say screw it, throw it all out the window, and eat whatever I want! But I know better and care too much to do that. Because as soon as I stop caring, so will my body, and the "fat girl" will get loose. I've worked too hard and come too far, and know I have enough control of my "fat girl" to keep her from doing that!

So, that is the premises of this blog. I want to use it to work out my emotional link to food/eating and "kill the fat girl". Any time I refer to the "fat girl," it is that inner part of me that wants to go on a complete binge and destroy everything I have done. She has reared her ugly head many times over the last 6 months or so, and while I feel like I have her under control for now, she has surfaced as a binge eater in the past. There have been a good handful of times where I have either been at a party (social binge), been depressed (emotional binge), or couldn't fight the cravings any longer(deprived binge). There are more types of binges out there, but these are my main triggers.

When I say binge, I mean BINGE. This girl can EAT! There have been a good handful of times that when I have binged, I have eaten to the point of "full capacity" and have thrown up. I wasn't throwing up because I was worried about gaining weight, it has been because I was physically so full that I had to to relieve the pressure. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I've always tried to keep it real and honest on here, and part of killing my inner fat girl is to understand her as much as possible. If I hide and deny it, it is only hurting myself and enabling my inner fat girl. I am done enabling my inner fat girl. She tries to beat me down and let her self out, but I am stronger than her. She tries to indulge in negative self talk and self image. Even though I have lost all this weight, and have the "after" photos right in front of me, I still see every little imperfection, and don't feel like I've done good enough. Clothes and pictures are deciving. In clothes, I actually feel OK about myself and can see how far I have come. But as soon as I undress I can see the lose skin, fat folds, stretch marks, cottage cheese on my thighs, my thighs still touch, I have bad skin on the back of my arms, and my boobs are comepletly gone(that will change one day lol, so don't be surprised when it does), I can go on!

I get so caught up in the little imperfections, and negativity, that I forget about how far I have come, and what good my body has done! This can send me into a downward spiral, and only fuels the fat girl. From now on, I am going to focus on positive thinking, and good self image. I can do this. YOU can do this. I believe the only way we can kill our inner fat child is to love that child, and love ourselves for who we are. I have stretch marks and am proud of it! They allowed my belly to expand so I can have my children - I call them my battle wounds. I have earned them and wear them with pride. I have large thighs and a ghetto booty - they are my power and pride! I was able to use them to compete in track and field and get all of my college education paid for! I have cottage cheese - well, cottage cheese is one of my favorite easy snacks LOL - instead of eating candy or crap, I will eat cottage cheese with fruit and truvia to help fight the cottage chesse! I have no boobs now - I used them up to nurse my children. (although I'm planning on having this fixed one day - I don't want anything crazy, just what I used to have - hope you understand lol :)

Again, I can go on, but my point is instead of hating our bodies for what they are, we need to love them for what they can do for us, and they journey they have taken us through. You can change your body, but you have to start from the inside first. I started from the outside and still struggle with my inside, but I have learned and am working on fixing the problem, and hope that you can help me kill my inner fat girl by keeping me accountable. I plan on posting on my training page my food log, or as least what I am having, and if I have a breakdown, I will confess it on here. But hopefully by having this blog, it will keep me strong. I also hope to help others learn how to "Kill" their "Fat Girl." If you like what you read and want to help others like me, just spread the word and share my blog. Happy Losing everyone :)